I did not sleep at all last night. I couldn't go to sleep as it got later and later, so I decided to check Facebook once again. in that visit I learned that a precious family that is both my friend and my student has received a crushing diagnosis. Their infant son has a degenerative, terminal genetic disease that is already reeking havoc on his little body and will take him in a matter of years. I laid here all night worrying and praying and just hurting for all of them. Baby K, his sisters and brother, his parents and grandparents, and the list goes on. We all have moments when we are reminded of the preciousness of life and this was one of them for me.
Not only that, but we are just a few days away from my father's birthday. I have been thinking of him all week. It has been less than 2 yrs since that horrible morning when we got the call about the accident. Some days, it seems like yesterday the pain is so intense. Others, I worry I may forget his voice, or his laugh... okay well, NOT his laugh! As I lay here last night, my mind got carried away with anxiety. And I remembered the words I wrote but could not read at his memorial service. They were shared by the pastor and now I want to share them again... mostly for me, but also for anyone who needs to be reminded of all his life meant to so many. He is missed sorely, as is my mother. My brother, sister and I felt the pain of being "orphans" - parentless in the world, even as 2 of us were parents ourselves. It is a very lonely feeling.
We love you and miss you, Daddy!
Here are the words I wrote In Sept of 2009:
Eulogy for Dad September 16, 2009
First of all, on behalf of Cal, Heather, and myself, thank you for being here today and making time in your day to help us remember our father. Many of you were here 6 years ago when we gathered to mourn the similarly sudden death of our mother. This is only compounding the pain of Daddy’s death but does offer the opportunity to rejoice that they are reunited, this time in the presence of our Lord and Savior. May he also be our Comforter in the weeks, months, and years to come.
As you can imagine, we haven’t slept much this week. As I write this in the wee hours of the morning, the most quiet and painful time of my day, I am reminded of one of my most precious childhood memories of my father. During my formative years, Daddy worked in the restaurant business, which meant long hours, often late into the night. I remember as a teenager, I would go through periods of stress, as all teens do, and that stress kept me awake at night. I would lay there, awake, and begin to worry not only about the primary issue, but then also about the fact that I would not be rested and that would make the next day more difficult. This would spiral until I would be very anxious and it was impossible to sleep. But I could go out into the livingroom, and there Dad would be in his Wendy’s uniform, watching Johnny Carson and snacking to try to unwind from his day. He would take me into his lap and we would talk about the day, or issues at hand. It was enough for me to relax and go back to bed to try again.
One time in particular stands out in my mind. I was in high school Biology and we were studying the organelles within a cell. I was overwhelmed at the amount of information to memorize with that topic. I went to him and he said, “Go get your Biology book”. When I brought it back to him he took out a sheet of paper and began to draw a cell using the analogy of a prison cell. He gave each organelle a job that corresponded to a job that might be in a prison. There was the “powerhouse” of the cell. There were parts that made food, parts that created things to go out of the cell/prison, there was a waste management system. He made a very elaborate drawing to help teach me those parts. My dad was a smart man and a good teacher. Dad had actually taught school in his young adult years. This was enough to not only help me reinforce the school concepts, but also to calm me enough to go back to bed. And now many years later, I am a high school science teacher who teaches cytology ( the study of the cell) to a new group of Biology students each year and I tell them that story.
In closing I want to share Daddy’s rules for life. These were Jerry’s Rules:
Rule #1 – Don’t sweat the small stuff.
Rule #2 – It’s ALL small stuff!
Those of you who knew our father’s contagious smile knew he lived by those rules. He knew our Lord and Savior and that reflected to all who came in contact with him. I hope you too can know that comfort and joy that only comes through Jesus Christ.
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